Dear Babalu,

For over three months now our teenage son has been bugging my husband and me for permission to have some sort of “device” implanted in his head. He says all his friends have one and that we’re “old fashioned” for saying no. He’s a very good student with lots of friends. He’s respectful and loving and we feel guilty about not just giving him the go-ahead, but we’re just not sure. What should we do?

Old fashioned.

Dear Old Fashioned,

Your hesitance is well-founded. With the growing access to electronics any birdbrain with a little surgical skill can implant microchips. They offer false hope of popularity, weight loss, virility, a clear complexion, etc. Get the implanter's credentials and one or two references before having any wires put through your son’s skull. Why take chances?